Mayapur das
        Dear Guru Maharaja,

        Please accept my humble obeisances at Your lotus feet. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

        In this time of crisis, people in general are looking for shelter. On the other hand, although I am wearing external dress of a Vaisnava, I am not ready to give up ropes which are pulling me in directions which are different than devotional service.I  am in lack of Krishna consciousness although obstacles are on my path. I am forgetting the true shelter and taking shelter of everything that comes to my mind from previous life experiences; I remain frustrated. Although surrounded by all the facilities meant to remind me of Krishna, I remain stuck in old concoctions of material consciousness.

        Praying to materialists, my desires get strength from the fuel that association is pouring on fire burning in my heart. I personally accept praise and glorification that devotees actually give to the service I am trying to do. In that way, hopeless and dry, overflodded with tears of self-pity and armed with sharp knife of criticism, I lose sanity and bow down to my demoniac nature. Neglecting scriptural knowledge and association of devotees, I became haunted by the ghost of Vaisnava aparadha. If he catches me, my life will be finished.


        'guru more murkha dekhi karila sasana'
                             
                               --Caitanya Caritamrita,
                            Chaitanya Mahaprabhu to Prakasananda Saraswati
         
        "My spiritual master considered me a fool, and therefore he chastised me."
         
        Inspite all my impurities, I firmly believe that service to You is my only shelter.
         
        Please, Guru Maharaja, do what is necessary to make this fool a proper follower .Otherwise, I will be lost. Your example is clear .Your love for Your spiritual master, Srila Prabhupada is seen from Your strict following of His instructions in whatever You do, whatever You say and whatever You think. Following His footsteps is Your guiding light, and serving His lotus feet Your only goal.


        `yasya prasadad bhagavat-prasado
        yasyaprasadan na gatih kuto 'pi
        dhyayan stuvams tasya yasas tri-sandhyam
        vande guroh sri-caranaravindam'

        "By the mercy of the spiritual master one receives the benediction of  Krsna. Without the grace of the spiritual master, one cannot make any advancement. Therefore, I should always remember and praise the spiritual master. At least three times a day I should offer my respectful obeisances unto the lotus feet of my spiritual master."

        Please, dear Guru Maharaja, make me never forget this. I pray that I never fall from following You on the path that You are Showing, Path Which YOU Are Living..

        Your foolish servant,
        Mayapur das

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