- I will never forget a journey with
you from Bhaktivedanta Manor back to Ljubljana a year ago. More than ever
I had the opportunity to be in your association and observe your activities
more closely. The more your qualities were revealing to me one after
another the more my appreciation of you was growing. When travelling by
van I would be always sleepy, couldn't chant or even talk with devotees.
I would just sleep. Whenever I would open my eye's and look in your direction,
I would see you chanting or reading, and even while seemingly taking rest
you would be meditating on Krsna conscious topics. Despite your age and
painful disease it was difficult to keep up with you. I would never see
you tired and it was mystery to
me where you were getting the strength from.
For two days we stayed in a beautiful Radhadesh temple, Belgium. When it was time for us to leave I was still in the kitchen preparing food for you. Then you came at the door and said that we were already late and told me to leave everything as it was and just go. Guru Maharaja, you don't know what thoughts I was fighting with. I looked over the kitchen. It was in complete mess. Something was still boiling in a pot, unwashed dishes all over the kitchen, dirty floor, nobody took our things out, I still didn't pack my things. How could I leave the kitchen in this condition? I was looking at you and again the mess we would leave. I was fighting in myself: Why don't I just follow your instruction and leave immediately? No, I can't misuse a nice hospitality of Radhadesh devotees. What to do? I was torn apart between your instruction and responsibility to others. At the same time an example of gopis came to my mind. They were milking cows, boiling milk, breastfeeding their children, serving their husbands, eating etc. but when they heard Krsna's transcendental flute, they immediately left everything behind and ran to meet with Krsna. At that moment I understood how exalted they were and that it was not easy at all to leave duties unfinished. I appreciated this pastime from Krsna book even more when translating it into Slovene.
Dear Guru Maharaja, you appreciate every little service we do for you. Once we were on island of Krk and I prepared a lunch for you. But I forgot to take out small loafs of bread from the oven and when I took them out it was too late. They were hard as stone. Despite that bhakta Tomislav decided to serve them to you, if nothing else as decoration. You accepted and ate them. I was amazed. As Krsna accepts devotional service from His devotees, you accepted our aborted attempt to serve you with devotion.
You show us perfect example of mercifulness, kindness, tolerance, patience, compassion, and understanding. You are always caring for our personal and spiritual life. You would run an extra mile for us if it would be necessary. And you always give us protection. You are playing the role of a spiritual master perfectly and you are safely guiding us through the waves of material existence to the goal of life.
Dear Guru Maharaja, thank you for being with us and giving us the opportunity to serve you. Thank you for giving me the name and thus the meaning to my life.
Your unworthy servant,
Caitanya dasi
| Homages from Disciples |