The upheaval of the 60's and the war in Vietnam was a fearful reality to many. Gaurasundara, my husband had lived in constant anxiety and fear that the draft board would call him to war. Though he was raised in a military family who fully supported the Vietnam War and they wanted him to become an airforce pilot, Gaurasundara had other ideas about his destiny. Until late November, Gaurasundara was an art student at the University of Texas, and due to his student status, he was not likely to be drafted but in late November, Gaurasundara and I had left the university in our search for truth, and in December of 1967 we had become students of Srila Prabhupada. Even in Gaurasundara's first meeting with Swamiji in San Francisco, he had expressed his anxiety about being drafted to fight in a war he did not believe in. Only about six months later, his fear became a reality. He had received a notice from the New York draft board to appear. The fateful day had arrived. We were then staying in New Jersey with Srila Prabhupada at his seashore retreat, and Gaurasundara had to travel to New York for his draft board appointment. He would receive a physical exam and very likely be drafted into the army. We expressed our severe anxiety to Srila Prabhupada who also did not endorse the war in Vietnam. Srila Prabhupada reassured us that Krsna would take care of everything. The day came for Gaurasundara's appointment and almost tearfully bid good-bye to Srila Prabhupada and me. He did not know what lay ahead; his future was uncertain. On a silk rope around his neck he wore a small murti of Lord Jagannath, and also along with that his huge red wooden chanting beads, the beads given at his initiation. He was full of anxiety yet calmly bowed down to say good-bye to Srila Prabhupada. Srila Prabhupada stood calmly in the hallway as Gaurasundara offered his last obeisances and prepared to leave. Srila Prabhupada raised his right hand in blessing and said to Gaurasundara: "Krsna will protect you. I will request him. Do not be afraid. Krsna will take care of everything". His voice was sure and strong. He smiled compassionately. He knew that everything would be all right and he conveyed that feeling of faith to us in that fragile moment. Then, Gaurasundara left for New York by train. Gaurasundara was gone the whole day. Everything went on schedule at home. Srila Prabhupada had his noon meal after Kirtanananda gave him massage and I did my usual duties of cleaning & washing Prabhupada's clothes and tried to do some art work. I was unable to concentrate, as my mind was full of thoughts of Gaurasundara. I prayed to Krsna constantly. Srila Prabhupada mentioned Gaurasundara several times, so I knew that he was also thinking of him. Evening came and he still had not returned from the city, so we were worried. Suddenly we heard him chanting as he climbed the stairs. I rushed to the door to greet him, giving him a big hug and noting the big smile on his face. Srila Prabhupada called him into his room and asked: "So, what happened?" Gaurasundara described the visit, that because of his strange appearance, sporting big red neck beads and a colorful Lord Jagannath on his chest he was sent to a psychiatric doctor. The doctor asked Gaurasundara questions and Gaurasundara answered as simply as possible, continually chanting Hare Krsna out loud on his wooden beads, and rolling his eyes upward in yogic fashion, focusing on Krsna's form in his mind. The psychiatric doctor had not seen this before and he apparently concluded that Gaurasundara was not suitable for military service. He gave him a 3-Y status, not as good as 4-F, but it certainly reduced his chances of being drafted, and Gaurasundara was never drafted. I wept for joy as Srila Prabhupada chuckled and wagged his head side to side. "Just see, Krsna has protected you. If we are sincere, Krsna will always protect. He sees everything. You have chosen his service, not the army service, so he has arranged everything". It was a joyful evening. So much stress that had been there for so long was no more and Gaurasundara could concentrate now more fully on service to Krsna and Srila Prabhupada. Krsna had saved him from a great danger, perhaps from his destiny to go to war and he was deeply grateful. Thank you, Srila Prabhupada for continuously saving us from the great dangers of the material world, the cycle of samsara. You are called the military general of Lord Caitanya. Indeed, you led an army. Like Rama led an army of monkeys, you led an army of American youth. You had your mission and we were drafted into your army, Lord Caitanya's army. That was our greatest good fortune. We were unqualified, yet you so kindly protected us, infused us with your shakti and sent us out to do your work. May we always remember and be grateful for the opportunity to serve in your army and may we never forget that you are the commander in chief and always be obedient to you.

Srila Prabhupada, you changed our destinies. Perhaps Gaurasundara had been destined for Vietnam as so many other American youths, but you "requested Krsna" and He re-arranged our lives. Often Srila Prabhupada would say to me when I had a cold or flue: "Yes, Krsna is checking off your account. He sees you sincerely desire to serve. You may deserve to die at this moment but instead he is giving you little cold". He would often say: "Krsna is watching us. When we are sincere to serve him he begins closing our account or checking off our account, meaning that he reduces our karmas from our stay in the material world". You, Srila Prabhupada, would remind me of this and still when I catch a cold I remember that maybe Krsna is checking off my account. May we always remember our precarious situation and constantly remember that you are watching us and checking off our account. Thank you, Srila Prabhupada.

The days went by quickly at the New Jersey seashore and soon three weeks were up. Each day was filled with joy of living with Srila Prabhupada. It was a peaceful and spiritual environment and the sweetness of his devotional mood sank deep into my heart. By the end of three weeks I was hooked. I had completely fallen in love with Srila Prabhupada. He was my whole life. I had no greater desire than to go on serving him daily, hearing him, seeing him speak, and hearing his enchanted talks about Krsna and His friends, and living in the Goloka environment that surrounded him.

Srila Prabhupada was charming, enchanting, sweet, humorous and loving. The love that radiated from his presence healed my heart from all the wounds inflicted by material life. That was my experience. I was after all a child who grew up in a home without my father since my parents had divorced when I was a small child. At two months I was sent to a wonderful, religious aunt, yet I did not really connect with my dad until I was ten years old. So Srila Prabhupada was the perfect father. He knew everything about everything. His protective presence surrounded me. When the day arrived that he was to fly to San Francisco, I was in emotional shambles. I remember so clearly kneeling by the car window just before he left, tears coursing down my cheeks as I looked up into his beautiful glowing golden face. I did not know when or if I would ever see him again. He was going to San Francisco to try to regain his health and from there he talked of going back to India. I was unable to speak very well, being very young and shy, yet somehow I expressed my intense pain at his leaving and my desire to serve him. I wanted him to get well, and if San Francisco or India would help, that was my great hope. Srila Prabhupada looked down from the open car window at a tearful young American girl with no spiritual qualification, yet he knew my heart. He raised his hand in blessing, his face was full of kindness and compassion and seemed to say: everything will be all right. He reassured me with an understanding that and told me: "Chant Hare Krsna. Krsna will arrange for everything". As his car drove away, a part of my heart went with him. Though I resumed my duties of cleaning my apartment, packing the pots and pans and household articles, my desire to see him and serve him grew and grew. He was going to San Francisco only for two or three weeks and then would return to New York. I hope he would return strong and well. Time passed and Srila Prabhupada returned to New York. He was somewhat disappointed as the San Francisco weather had been cloudy and cool, and he felt he needed the warm atmosphere of India. His plans for India were confirmed. When he arrived in New York his stay was brief. He told us he would return to Vrindavana either to get well or to leave for Krsnaloka. We desperately wanted him to get well. We continued our daily prayers to Lord Nrsimhadeva as instructed by him on that fateful night of his stroke. We begged Krsna to bring him back to us. As we gathered at the New York airport and sat on the floor, through my tears I heard the various talks. Srila Prabhupada commented on the Air India wallpaper designs that showed Indian ladies carrying water vessels on their heads. He found the pictures very beautiful. They reminded him of his beloved India. "Just see how graceful. They are wearing saris, carrying water pots. They are looking just like gopis in Vrindavana". Srila Prabhupada turned to Hemavati who was wearing a sari she made from a piece of cloth: "Just see how nice Hemavati looks in her sari. Hemavati you may also learn how to carry water vessels, water pots, just like the gopis, and you will look even more beautiful". Himavati was smiling radiantly, her long blond braid hidden underneath the silky sari.

There was a soft and sad kirtan, and the flight was called. We clustered around Srila Prabhupada as if to keep him with us for as long as possible. Here he was - surrounded by his children; most of us in our early twenties, some even younger. This was the final moment. I looked around. Jadurani was in great pain. She loved Srila Prabhupada so much; she could barely open her eyes and could barely breathe. Everyone was sad. I was crying, focused on his face, drinking in every last moment and filling my mind and heart with the desire to see him well and to serve him again. Then he left, he was gone. We watched late into the night as the plane took off. Brahmananda and I kept watching, as the jet streams grew faint; drizzly rain blew in our faces mixed with tears. It was the end of Srila Prabhupada's first lila in the USA. We knew little about Krsna but we knew a lot about loving Srila Prabhupada. Brahmananda and I agreed the rain felt like gopis' tears and the separation set in. It must be similar to the way the gopis felt when Krsna left for Mathura. It seemed to us like the whole world was crying when Srila Prabhupada departed for India.

I remember it also well. Most of all I remember, Srila Prabhupada, your compassionate glance as you looked at all your children just before departing for India. This has always been my favorite mood: your mood of love, concern and compassion. Thank you for coming here, for taking so much trouble and thank you coming back again and again and for dealing with all the headaches of starting a big organization. Thank you, Srila Prabhupada, for giving us your love so that we may learn to open our hearts and experience love. Thank you for teaching us to love and for giving us the experience of divine spiritual love without which our hearts are like empty pumping machines. Please remain always on the altar of my heart where I will serve you always with my thoughts and deeds.

In San Francisco in early 1967, Gaurasundara and I met Srila Prabhupada. Early on in our relationship we already felt we had known him eternally but there were of course many things we did not know about him. After all, we were children, as he would often say, only 19 or 20 years old. Once while walking back from a rip-roaring kirtan in Golden Gate Park we were walking alone with Srila Prabhupada, just the three of us. The kirtan was still going on but it was getting a bit late, so Srila Prabhupada had expressed the desire to go back to his Frederick Street apartment. Gaurasundara and I volunteered to walk with him, one of us on each side, eager to hear him speak and to get know him better. Srila Prabhupada walked silently. Softly sounding his eternal japa, occasionally it became audible. The path was winding and just as we rounded a bend Srila Prabhupada stopped short. He pointed to a bunch of trees on his right; it was considerably off from the path, and he said: "Gaurasundara, can you bring some small branches from that tree, about this thick," and held up his little finger to demonstrate the size. Gaurasundara nodded eagerly and thrashed into the bushes to reach the selected tree. After a few minutes of scrambling in the bushes we saw the big tree shudder slightly as Gaurasundara pulled off some branches. Srila Prabhupada stood patiently waiting on the pathway, watching quietly as Gaurasundara clamored through the bushes, his arms full of small branches. Long pointed leafs stuck out here and there and Gaurasundara's smiling face was visible just above them. Srila Prabhupada was clearly pleased, so we felt pleased. We had no idea, however, why he wanted those branches. We were dying to know but he was silent and we were too timid to ask. Quietly we walked on, and while walking, Srila Prabhupada plucked the leaves off the twigs, one by one; the small branches were only about three feet long, so as he walked the plucked leafs scattered the path behind us. Then he began the branches into eight inch pieces and gathering the bundles in his hands. I was dying of curiosity but still just watched quietly. We had no idea what he was doing. Suddenly, just was we were leaving the park, Srila Prabhupada smiled brightly and said to us: "These twigs will be my tooth brushes. This tree has a very medicinal sap. It has very antiseptic properties". He turned to us, flashing his bright smile and perfectly white teeth and said: "If you want to have teeth like mine at eighty, you can not use a tooth brush, you must use these tree twigs. It will keep your teeth very healthy". We were stunned, and then we courageously asked him how he used them. He said "simply, I shall show you", and some time later he showed us how to chew the one quarter inch end of the twig until it became like a brush, then how to scrub the teeth and gums side to side, cleaning the plaque from them and stimulating the gums and leaving them feeling cleaner than a dentist's office visit. Srila Prabhupada later told us the best twig was eucalyptus, but mango was also very good, and on the East coast, where eucalyptus was not available he used birch. Srila Prabhupada, you taught us everything, even how to brush our teeth, and more over you taught us how to serve unquestioningly and eagerly without reservation. If you wanted twigs from a tree we eagerly gave them to you. Krsna tested our service mood in so many ways, even if we did not know or understand we trusted you anyway. That was the key. Krsna wanted to see how much we sincerely believed in you. Thank you, Srila Prabhupada, for still watching over us, for giving us the faith that you are still here, watching, guiding and waiting patiently for us to bring the twigs of our devotion to your lotus feet. Even now, just as then you stood patiently on the forest path, watching and waiting, and even now you still stand quietly in our hearts, guiding and waiting for us to invite you to sit down and remain there eternally, guiding and teaching us from within. There is no limitation on your mercy. You were kind and powerful that you can sit in the heart of everyone who calls to you.